Where have I come from?
I have come from a dance background, with no film experience except the odd home video and high school drawing level. Initially I wanted to make a dance film which in some way reflected Norman McLaren, his relationship to me, his love of dance and which looked at a new story about him. In his letters I found a description of him skating which led me to wonder how he viewed movement, not just in animation. He seems to suggest that he would like to have had that opportunity, and I felt I was exploring something about his kinesthetic awareness in my work.
Where did I go?
I began the masters by discovering the course I applied for no longer existed and that I had to make a decision between media arts and animation and visualization. I did feel that I would be engaged in visualizing an emotional response to McLaren and although I had no animation experience whatsoever I decided that I would like to know more about the art form which my father’s cousin became so involved in. I knew this would be the biggest challenge. I also wanted to make film so I have had to identify and start to fill in the knowledge gaps. Part of my ambition was to find a story about McLaren which was new and this led me to research the archive of 400 letters in Stirling. I have also made contact with family who are closer to him than I am and soak in personal stories and memories. I found the story and set to work making it into a script for my film.
How did I work towards these goals?
I learned about script writing from a master class and by trial and error but discovered in the end that I am a good story teller. I have told and re-told my story many times with a cross section of people from producers to writers and dancers to friends. I felt I had a good story to tell if I could master the technical know- how!! I plunged myself into drawing and found that I have a natural ability. This led me to decide to try to include drawing in some way into my final film. The learning curve for this has been steep and is ongoing.
Having refined my ambitions this semester I arranged tutorials in using a variety of cameras, Z1 Z7 and sony HD cam, camera lighting, Final Cut, After Effects and animation. I set up various venues and dancers and began the long process of teaching the final choreography, rehearsal, filming, re-filming, testing lighting and final filming, log and capture and edit. I found all of this exhausting...carrying equipment etc but managed to achieve all I wanted to in the filming. I feel I have stayed true to my initial ambition to make a dance film which capturs and expresses some nature of Norman McLaren as well as beginning to learn about animation process. I have now a multitude of footage and many more ideas for the future.
Having selected the film I wanted to work with and the ideas I wanted to animate I began this semester to link these two together. In the process I also wanted to experiment with whether the ideas I was attempting to visualize were stronger with the addition of animation. This was part of my intention but I feel in some ways I have gone beyond that and there are ideas I feel need the addition of animation.so now I am beginning to animate in response to the letters too.I feel I have a strong sense of visual image and lighting really works for me.I also have really connected with the drawing in a very internal way, and I have found this to be something I want to explore in the future. I think that there is something I could teach animators about connecting with their emotions and physical self which could be of great benefit in producing character animation and emotional material in general.
Why do it all this way?
The main reason for doing this project, however was to find a way to bring attention to a side of Norman McLaren which people did not know. Interpreting and responding to his letters this way has opened up another avenue for discovery. I feel my work addresses a kinaesthetic learning style and the hope is that it will bring a new audience to McLaren over the next two years when we will celebrate his centenary.During the two years of my masters course this has already begun to happen as I talk about my work to a variety of people. It seems natural for me to respond with a dance work.
I have always loved film and to combine this with dance seemed like a natural progression. But to also work with animation is amazing. McLaren talked of movement being his art form and even suggested he might have liked to be a dancer had he been given the chance! Dance and animation are both ways of creating movement and it feels so right for me as a choreographer and relative of Norman's to be doing this. I have a long way to go in terms of technical animation ability and knowledge but I would like to continue to experiment.
I want to be able to work with film in the future as a way of creating a lasting dance work, which evolves with the filming process being part of the creative act. I also wanted to be able to film by myself in the future so, although I gave myself unnecessary extra work I did feel an intense focus working alone.. Lighting for film is very different from lighting for performance and something I could only discover by trying it out and scrutinising the results.
Aside from this, I wanted to use film as a creative process in itself. I feel that this has really happened. I am aware that I have a long way to go to become a polished film maker but I have allowed my ideas to be influenced by the results of the film and edit. In a sense I am using the edit process like a paint brush…and my aim now is to become more proficient so that I can work more instinctively in the future. I have loved this process.
What point in all this?
The course has extended me in many ways, and has allowed me to examine new methods to employ in my art. I have proved to myself I am capable of learning to a higher degree and my work with technology for film has surprised me.
So what I have learned has many purposes that I can identify and probably some that I have yet to identify. I am extremely critical of my own work in reflection, but am constantly seeking reactions from others which I note. One recent reaction from a writer was that she had not heard of anyone trying to do anything quite like this. I feel, in some ways, and like McLaren, elements of my work have always been pioneering, with me trying new things and making and learning from my own mistakes. It is very easy in life to be discouraged by others' opinions...but the true creative path is about finding your own route to creating work no matter how circuitous, and about saying things in a truly unique way. I feel this journey is very much in the spirit of Norman.
Programme Of Study
My programme has changed constantly, and research alone opens up new lines of attack every month if not every week. To reflect and reassess is all part of the process.
Examining McLaren in depth led me to look at muscle memory and movement and how animators and dancers use that.
Constant reading leads me always to more reading material, and discussion with others always makes me see things in a new light. It has been hard to talk about my work in public but I have become much better at presenting my thinking in a concise and more understandable way.
My thinking has become clearer, yes, but so has my ability to present my thinking and its direction.
My latest reading is about the 'Molecules of emotion' and the scientific origins of emotion. I am amazed by what I discover and attempt to bring this new learning into my film.
My mission in this last semester was to choreograph and film dance on a particular theme...the emotional qualites described in the letters...to then examine the dance film and to trial a number of animation techniques and film effects alongside this film... to assess whether there is potential in using them, for heightening the emotional impact of the work.
One aim was to present a series of 'vignettes' of dance each with a different additional layer of either animation, motion graphic, edit or after effects.
The story has developed with my research and the letters which continually come to my attention.
Did I achieve what I wanted to?
Initially I thought I would have to to cut back on my expectations in the final leg of this film, but as I have progressed with Final Cut I have actually achieved a huge amount more than I thought I could in January. I certainly can now take and edit dance film which was my first goal. I know how to make animation in a number of different ways, some slightly unorthodox, but animation all the same. Again I would like to continue this learning and make the final film better as a result. I have learned so much...I have been known to say I feel like I set out to climb a hill and when I got to the bottom before starting, discovered it was the white cliffs of Dover...very steep, very crumbly...very dangerous. Right now I am hanging by a thread from the top, and the Seven Sisters long climb is still ahead after August. I also now feel I set out on a middle distance run....as a good sprinter...only to discover it was a marathon and that now a sprint is required to finish. But to survive the race it will be a slower sprint than I would wish...but I will need to hang on and cross that finish line, leaving some energy to survive to carry on!!
Kinesthetic awareness?
My journey into McLaren's life and work has taken me in unexpected directions
I believe that although McLaren was sometimes described as being a little awkward in his own movement, that he had an acute kinesthetic awareness. This is expressed in some of his dance film but also in some of his abstract surrealist work such as 'Spheres' and 'Spooks' (one of his first ever films in the 40s). He was a good musician and had strong sense of timing. I compare my own son, also very musical, who could dance brilliantly when he was very young (2 1/2), better than many adults… but had a bad experience in a dance class and was humiliated because he was a boy. He never danced again no matter how much I tried to persuade him but, I think, like McLaren, inside he dances!!
Surely this sketch, which was part of a thank you letter, expresses this idea perfectly. This man knew about dance even if he did not actually dance like this himself. My experience of drawing leads me to believe he could have been a great dancer if he had ever been given the chance!
Does movement ability affect emotional intelligence?
One question that has risen as a result of my masters study is whether dancers are more emotionally intelligent than non dancers and to what extent being involved in expressive movement music and dance can enhance emotional intelligence? I would add to this that to draw movement after being involved in it brings together body and brain in a reflective exploratory way that I had not expected. Should I ever seek to do a PhD It would be on this topic. In the future I would like to teach animators about my journey and to do movement work with them to assist their journeys.
Does my film explore this idea?
My film explores emotional qualities and how they can be conveyed in dance, animation and film. During my journey I have tried many combinations of film and animation, film dance and after effects, and have found great potential for heightening the emotion within the film. I would like to continue to explore this in my work and to use both film and animation. I have many ideas about re presenting this work with live dance, with two screens splitting the animation from the dance film and having a dancer on ice! All of this is too ambitious but hey! I can dream still.
